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The Devil in the Machine


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I've had some MIDI hardware recently perform in an erratic and at times almost self aware manner. After researching the topic, I thought I'd share my findings.

 

Reverend Jim Peasboro of Savannah GA has written a book "The Devil in the Machine: Is your computer possessed by a demon?"

 

Some of the points raised in the book are:

 

"While the Computer Age has ushered in many advances, it has also opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."

 

Demons can possess anything with a brain, including a chicken, a human being, or a computer.

 

"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit."

 

"...most of the youths involved in school shootings like the tragedy at Columbine were computer buffs...I have no doubt that computer demons exerted an influence on them."

 

an estimated "...one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit."

 

Interestingly, this doesn't account for commonplace appliances becoming possessed:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/06/28/satanic_cyberappliances/

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From that article...

 

Pezzino will not stop at exorcism to purge his village of this evil: "If we're going to do it, we have to do it right," he said. "In order to do it, you need a sacrifice for the immortal gods, like a black goat or a black sheep. You have to dig a hole into the ground, because this is serious."

 

So it occurs to me that the Logic manual is black... Maybe you could dig a hole, immolate it, and solve your MIDI problem?

 

Hey, just a thought...

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Devil in the machine?

 

Devil?

 

Y'know, sometimes you people really getteth my goat (of the sacrificial variety, of course). Always concentrating on the negative, never emphasizingeth the positive. Is this why you think I made you, to bitch and moan about all the bad things the machines do? What about all the good things they do? Y'know, the GODLY things???

 

Humans? Oh, humans? I have two words for you. They are: Good and God. See the resemblance? Doth ye catcheth my drifteth?

 

They say I am a jealous god. They are right.

 

Yours Truly,

 

R. Jevhova, God Incarnate in Muso Form

(just in case you didn't recognize me by my picture)

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“Talk of the devil, and his horns appear”

 

"In order to do it, you need a sacrifice for the immortal gods, like a black goat or a black sheep.

“Give the devil his due”

 

I've had some MIDI hardware recently perform in an erratic and at times almost self aware manner.

“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell”

 

This promises to be a good one!

“The devil is in the details”

 

 

Always concentrating on the negative, never emphasizingeth the positive. Is this why you think I made you, to bitch and moan about all the bad things the machines do?

“Let the devil catch you but by a single hair, and you are his forever”

 

 

Calvin: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"

 

Hobbes: "I'm not sure that man needs the help”

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In order to do it, you need a sacrifice......a black goat or a black sheep.

 

Give the devil his due

 

Beezly, Beezly, Beezly... Sometimes I just don't get you at all. I mean, you run the world's biggest barbeque and you have to order take-out?

 

You maketh me ill.

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Who let these hooligans in here. :shock:

 

OK, I think I have a solution. There's a local Santeria Priestess who's agreed to come over and bless my studio. Her rates are pretty good too.

 

I'm a little worried as she's told me I need to cover everything in plastic that I don't want soiled with chicken blood.

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sooo..who's gonna take credit for THIS machine??

 

My Son,

 

If thy machine transporteth ye in style to thy destination without fail, like a trusty steed of yore, then of course it is I who doth require due praises for creating its creator. But if it faileth on your journey, like bloweth a gasket in the middle of a trip through the desert, don't looketh to blame me necessarily: it could have been an act of Kharma coming back around to biteth you in the asseth, and ye can't hold me responsible cuz that stuff runs on automatic pilot. Ultimately it wouldst be thine own doing. Under the "anything else" category, such wouldst be his doing. He's a prick like that, you knoweth...

 

RJ

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Who let these hooligans in here. :shock:

 

My friend, I wouldn't go calling these guys "hooligans". They are legendary for their wrath and all...

 

OK, I think I have a solution. There's a local Santeria Priestess who's agreed to come over and bless my studio. Her rates are pretty good too. I'm a little worried as she's told me I need to cover everything in plastic that I don't want soiled with chicken blood.

 

Sounds good, but watch out for stray eggs. Chickens kinda shoot them out at high velocity when they fear for their lives...

   

 

 

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Who let these hooligans in here. :shock:

 

My friend, I wouldn't go calling these guys "hooligans". They legendary for their wrath and all...

Then again, as I'm sure panto will confirm, if you're in Ireland then "Hoolie", the vernacular for Hooligan, is synonymous with "Mate", as in you arrive at the pub and greet your mates with "Ay ya hoolies!".

 

A term of endearment, we might say.

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For those of you (members of the clergy or otherwise) who didn't benefir from a decent education I can inform you that the 'Devil in the machine' is a liberal re-phrasing of the term 'God in the Machine' or as it was known at the time 'Deus ex Machina'.

 

This contraption was used in the ancient Greek Theatre to deliver mechanical divinties to the stage to the accompaniment of a booming god-like voice spoken into a large terracotta amphora.

 

To give this comment a musical dimension I should add that large terracotta jars were often placed at the back of the auditorium to add resonance and depth to an actor's voice.

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For those of you (members of the clergy or otherwise) who didn't benefir (sic) from a decent education...

 

For those of you who aren't familiar with trends in choosing baby names, a new method is becoming popular with parents -- the DNAme. Using this method, parts of both parent's names are used to form a new name, the practice being representative of the co-mingling of the parent's respective gene pools.

 

Among them, and as used in the sentence above, we see Benefir -- a contraction of "Benjamin" and "Jennifer". The possibilities are indeed endless. Consider:

 

Billette (Bill and Jeanette)

Jazbo (Jasmine and Bob)

B'nana (Bob and Johanna)

Randinda (Randall and Lucinda)

 

You get the idea. But parents must be careful, as some combinations are probably not entirely desirable. This is, of course, assuming that parents wish their children to experience as little emotional trauma as possible growing up. For example, it would be best if Larry and Katrina refrained from calling their little girl "Latrina". Similarly, Vaugh and Gina should probably avoid the contraction that forms "Vagina", especially if it's a boy, leaving the actual contractions to the birthing procedure and looking up a good old fashioned name in a baby name book instead.

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Oh yes, and it goes without saying that Pantomime and Horse are probably best off naming their baby boy "Chris Eccles" and calling it a day.

Now you're bating him! You sir, are the Mastur.

 

Speaking of which. I just got contacted by someone who needs music for some smut films. He linked to some examples and it's pretty obvious they were all done with Reason. Is there some standard at play here? Like, it's gotta have that "Reason" sound or it's not suitable for smut music? Waterboy, surely you must know.

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For those of you (members of the clergy or otherwise) who didn't benefir (sic) from a decent education...

 

Billette (Bill and Jeanette)

Jazbo (Jasmine and Bob)

B'nana (Bob and Johanna)

Randinda (Randall and Lucinda)

 

.

 

I guess that Miss Chelsea Clinton should be pleased not to have been named Hillbilly.

 

As for the mis-spelling of Benezir I guess you have to blame the lack of a spelling checker on this PC..

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Oh yes, and it goes without saying that Pantomime and Horse are probably best off naming their baby boy "Chris Eccles" and calling it a day.

 

:wink:

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I had a friend in UK whose name was (probably still is) Patricia Hart.

She always used to sign cheques, "PHart"

 

-

C

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My son's name is Darwin ... if we had done the DNAme thing then it would have been Mallen (not to bad ... sounds like the name of a fantasy character) or Ellhew (doesn't work at all ... Matt + Ellen BTW).

 

To continue we have some family friends who have a daughter that is the age of are son, and my wife and the little girls mother go on and on about how they will one day marry. Their resulting daugter could be called Violin (Violet + Darwin). Pretty Cool ...

 

As an atheist I don't believe that a few the of posts in this thread exist. :D

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As an atheist I don't believe that a few the of posts in this thread exist. :D

 

What, you think I didn't see this? I get the email notifications too you know...

 

Believeth in the Devil, do ye? Worship Weasly Beezly, do ye? Sure, why not. This is thy choice. I gaveth you free will. Lo, he is as real as am I, though he hath been a thorn in my side ever since... Oh, never mind.

 

Believeth not in me? This is also thy choice. I gaveth you free will. Besides, I get so many prayer requests every day, in not believing in me you giveth me one less thing to do. Mind you, I can't complaineth, I have plenty to keep me busy.

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