New song wanted some feedback!

[Joey89]

Hi guys!

 

I wrote this song last night. Think it might need some lyrics cut here and there. At the moment its verse, chorus, verse, chorus. I was wondering if anyone thought I should try expanding it maybe putting in a middle 8 or another verse? Or if you think it sounds good short? Or any ideas you have? No need to hold back on what you think! Heres the link the song is called Wrong Way Around -

 

http://www2.mixposure.com/Joe_Spencer/

 

Heres the lyrics -

 

Please read my instructions before you try and plug me in

 

They may be torn and jaded and they come with no guarantee

 

If you can read through all the pages then I think that you might see

 

That at least they are productive in deciding to try me

 

 

 

 

 

Because I’m the wrong way around,

 

Back words is all I see

 

My feet aren’t always on the ground,

 

Please come and cut me free

 

 

 

 

 

If there is an error code just put me on the shelf

 

I will live there collecting dust until you throw me out

 

When im on the streets I can finally try and be myself

 

But until that day I’ll try and sit it out

 

 

 

 

 

Because I’m the wrong way around,

 

Back words is all I see

 

My feet aren’t always on the ground,

 

Please come and cut me free

 

 

Any feedback would be great!

[Rev. Juda Sleaze]

I liked that! Strange vocal effects, but they seemed to work. Really nice chords and layed-back feeling. Good song writing.

 

Reminded me of Devendra Banhart, without being too derivitive

 

Your guitar could do with a little tune-up though!