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My muse abandoned me


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Welp; it's been nearly a year since I've been able to finish a song. The last one I finished was August 12 of 2011; and even that was a cover; I last finished an original song June 16th of last year.

 

Around August through October I was at my lowest lows of depression; but I pushed through that. However, I've never been able to make my return to music. Perhaps I'll sit and scribble a bit in a DAW, come up with 16 or 32 measures of stuff I end up hating, then never return to it. Now it's gotten to the point where I can't do even that; I set with Logic open, maybe synthesize a patch, then sit and mostly just stare or tweak knobs until I decide to quit.

 

A bit has changed since when I was starting out; I've gotten two new synths, I got my Rokit monitors; and I spent a lot of time and money to get those all setup so that I could use them all together, as before I would have to constantly switch out cables to use a new instrument and would have to record each instrument in small, boring loops to do so. I've also had to move all of my equipment to a basement room, where no natural light enters; one dimly lit bulb illuminates the room; a house heater vibrates behind me, a refrigerator hums a few feet away; whenever I have my monitors turned up loud, a clutter stove starts shaking uncontrollably and the ceiling pipes start to oscillate. However, in the past, I could never work with headphones either.

 

The problem doesn't relate to time- I actually have ample free time I could devote to creating music. However, my fire's died out, my muse is gone; I feel I cannot create anything and this kills my desire to work. I used to have a new idea every day; now, I have none. Sometimes I'll force myself into Logic to work on something, perhaps I'll begin by choosing samples to plug into ultrabeat then work on composing for and synthesizing a sound; I'll finish up a few measures, hate it, and quit. Otherwise, with ideas I do continue with, I usually a hit a roadblock- I'll want to put say, a deep subbass underneath my song but no matter how many EQing, filtering and sidechaining tricks I employ, I always end up clipping the master bus. Back when I used to work, I never worried about clipping; I'd always go into the red, and simply put a limiter on when I'd bounce things.

 

It saddens me that I can't move forward anymore. Music is what I want to do, but for the past year I've been unable to come up with much. Part of me wishes to pin it on my depression, but I worry that it's more than that.

 

Would any of you perhaps have some advice for the musician with musician's block? I can't seem to get out of this rut.

 

Thank you.

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I always end up clipping the master bus.

 

Lower the output. Simple. Next!

 

Back when I used to work, I never worried about clipping; I'd always go into the red, and simply put a limiter on when I'd bounce things.

 

See advice above. Don't use a limiter just because a track is getting too hot. Lower the output. Next!

 

Would any of you perhaps have some advice for the musician with musician's block? I can't seem to get out of this rut.

 

Approach #1: Stop trying so hard. In fact, stop trying at all. For the next week or two (more if necessary), occupy your music-making time with something else completely different. Remember, the world is a very big place, with endless fascinations and interesting things to occupy your mind and your time. Suggestions include:

 

• Road Trip!

• Museums

• Take up a hobby; learn how to make stained glass windows, faux painting techniques, take an art class (think: nude models (!) and, you get out of the house), anything at all.

 

Then sit down at your computer after having taken a break and listen back to some of your older ideas (which may take on new life with fresh ears) or start newer ones.

 

Approach #2: Go to a live concert, even if it's just a band playing at a club or a bar somewhere, and refresh your memory about what live music with real dynamics sound like. Or, if you're into dance music, go to a club, get drunk, and enjoy the experience instead of trying to make it.

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Sounds like a no win situation for now. If you are just composing with no intent of doing a thing with your music, then it isn't going to matter what you buy. No money for room treatment/speakers/quality equipment, you are kind of stuck.

 

Oh, I plan on doing something with my music eventually. Right now I'm looking mostly to practice and improve my abilities, so that I'll have something worth publishing and promoting eventually.

 

 

Using Ski as an example (the fine example he is) of how people have a need to make money with music.

It's the same with bodybuilding, surfing, riding a bike, whatever... if you don't have the passion to do it, then don't do it.

 

I used to practice roughly 6 hours a day on the keyboard thinking one day I would be good. It didn't pay off and I realize that when I get that same determination about other instruments. I can't even play some songs I have written years and years ago no matter how much time I devote to perfecting my technique.

 

Perhaps it is because I am a perfectionist that I am held back from moving on to other things. I need to realize that I may never get it 'right' because there isn't a 'right' to get.

 

I have forgotten that at one time, all I had to write songs on was some cheap keyboards and a guitar. No DAW, no tape machines, no nothing. I was able to concentrate on creating songs because there was a flow of energy that I could channel and stay focused. No that process is ruined by how 'hot' the mix is, or which compressor should I use. Too many distractions.

 

Then the bottom line! What are you going to do with it all when you finish? Why do you bother with music or trying to write songs? Some of the major hit songs were passed over by many studios, but the important thing is that the hit song was written. Many artists who are one hit wonders are wasting the rest of their life trying to write another hit. Some of them were lucky enough to enjoy the success we all dream of.

 

It's not all about the song writing. Many musicians go out to find 'open jam nights' and interact with other musicians. Blah, Blah, Blah.

 

You sound like you are stuck on page 22 of a novel. It's time to turn the page and move on. Finish that book and go find another. It is becoming a pointless addiction for you. Get away from it for a while. The world will continue to turn and your live isn't going to drastically change if you take a break.

 

 

You are not in a rut, you just have nothing to produce. Write some poetry and no matter how good or bad it turns out, keep writing one poem a day. Practice some scales on the daily. Record some commercial songs just for the practice of recording. If you happen to squeeze in an original song, then good.

 

You will get old one day and life has a way of slipping by unnoticed. If you want to waste it in the corner of your basement with a dim light, then enjoy yourself, otherwise - find something more productive to do with your time and energy.

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Sounds like you no longer expect any music to happen when you sit at the computer, so you're setting yourself up to fail.

 

Personally, the thought of sitting in front of the computer waiting for inspiration to hit sounds awful. I mean, it's different of you have a job with a brief, but just expecting something to splooge out of your head on demand... not that likely to happen in my experience.

 

Remember that the Muses were women so, like all women, if you chase them they'll run a mile, if you pretend you have no interest in them and get on with having a fulfilling life, they'll start chasing you.

 

Since we're talking about abandonment issues, some of the best advice I ever got was after my first love left me: "It doesn't matter what you want, whether you want her back or not, the route is the same; pick yourself up, sort yourself out, and get on with your life." Muses, like ex-girlfriends, are not attracted to desperation, self-pity, or pleading for them to come back to you.

 

One last approach: I've got some mileage out of using all those lame ideas I don't like when inspiration is lacking. Just start making "frustration songs", with no expectations of writing good music, and you might end up with a part or two that, on reflection, are a bit inspired, and then you have a basis to work from.

 

Don't let your expectations of failure become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stop giving yourself a hard time with thoughts of failure. Go out, have fun, and wait for the Muses to come to you.

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I never thought I'd live to see the day when Shivermetimbers (the fine example he is) writes a longer post than me :lol:

 

Yer slacking Ski. You losing your mousse?

 

http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/public/uDreF41N2zdycnPIyCG6uiFjWA3qfJmXAgA7TSR7rSNTG-kACiJ3Cl13jYXFoyHmdCqc8_r504PtovFtEIEGOl5D6MaycolLU5kL3rtYtj5RqT1xTTLZ0K2LJMBDEbShH04_lKCiIYgpytK5uiiXo8A

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Thanks to all of you for the great advice!

 

Shivermetimbers– yours is definitely a bit sobering. But, I am resolute that music is what I wish to do. I definitely do get caught up too much with ideals of stardom and making my music fit into the business industry. That is likely a big part of my roadblocks. However, music has always been a passion for me. As with many people, I grew up listening to a lot of it- but I'd always have music playing if I could; even if it were background noise as I focused on other things. I had a love for alt rock but also artists like Daft Punk- adding a bit of contrast to my tastes. I eventually took up guitar lessons from a guy named Ed who exposed me to a world of awesome rock and roll bands. I never got good with it as I was young and did not practice; it's the same reason why I later did not do well with electric bass. I eventually discovered synthesis and it was perfect for me- coming from a background of video gaming and computer programming, I was quite used to spending time on a computer; and I'd always loved artists like DP, but especially crossover indie artists like MGMT or Phoenix or Coldplay that heavily incorporated synths and effects with traditional rock instruments. I'd love to listen to the unique characteristics of many synths out there, and dedicated myself to learning to use the various types of synthesis musically. I'd like to be able to bring music to the world that people will enjoy; a lot of other people's has helped me through hard times, and I feel that I should return the favor by providing some of my own. I used to get a lot of joy from working on tracks and eventually having it all come together- working by yourself, you have to move piece by piece, and when everything finally comes out as something fun to listen to, it feels great.

 

Ski– Luckily I'm flying from Connecticut to California, across the entire US, for a couple weeks on this upcoming Tuesday- it'll be a great time to relax and focus on other things. Perhaps I'll end up seeing live music on the vacation as well. I do find that a big problem with DJs and club music is that the speakers they use will drown all the songs in booming kick drum- it's a bit difficult to get inspired musically, but it's certainly a great way to forget about things and start white-person dancing (randomly flailing).

 

Rev. Juda$– Again, thanks for the advice. You're right about sitting at the computer no longer expecting any good to come from it is probably setting myself up to fail. The way I used to do things is sitting in front of a piano, just improvising with a key for a while, and I'd usually end up coming up with a chord progression and a fun rhythm for it. I'd then go to my DAW, set up some quick and basic percussion, add in chordal sounds like a pad and perhaps a bass line, and the melody would come to me. The rest would simply be using this all creatively to create a finished piece. Other times, I'd just have melodies or entire songs come to me after a fun day out, or when I'd be about to sleep, reminiscing about the day. I've rarely accomplished anything by opening up Logic and forcing myself to work.

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I'd like to be able to bring music to the world that people will enjoy; a lot of other people's has helped me through hard times, and I feel that I should return the favor by providing some of my own.

 

The above struck me.

 

You can't make music for other people to enjoy unless you enjoy it yourself first.

 

Being an artist requires having a tremendous commitment to your own sense of self-expression. Now, sure, music can be deliberately produced to have mass appeal. Think about successful, bubble-gum/over-produced boy or girl bands, like the Spice Girls or the Backstreet Boys. Even though they're studio creations, every aspect of their big hits have an extremely strong sense of conviction about them, from the delivery of the vocals to the intensity of the production. Or think about Oasis and "Wonderwall". C'mon, WTF is a wonderwall? Yet that nonsensical lyric is delivered with conviction, and that makes all the difference.

 

And while there's no guarantee that your sense of artistic conviction will resonate with listeners, all you can do is give it your best shot.

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[soundcloud]

[/soundcloud]

 

I loved making this. Producing the glitchy vocals was a world of fun; the intro pad was a patch from my Korg R3 that I had spent a lot of time making before I had even thought of the song idea; and slicing up the Amen loop into Ultrabeat for the drums then arranging the bits and pieces into that droning mess was a lotta fun too. The ending was inspired by a Daft Punk track I enjoy.

 

It's one of my pieces that I enjoy listening to. But I know it's not commercial music; I know not many would enjoy it, and I know that there's an entire world of criticism that could be made about the mix. But I loved making it and still enjoy listening to it.

 

I guess, I'm seeking a balance. A balance between the egotistical musician who says "if you don't like my art, then it's your problem for not getting it" and the 'musician' who creates their song based on commercial research. I'd like to enjoy making my songs- but I'd also like for people to enjoy listening to them afterwards.

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ttoxique,

 

A balance between the egotistical musician who says "if you don't like my art, then it's your problem for not getting it" and the 'musician' who creates their song based on commercial research. I'd like to enjoy making my songs- but I'd also like for people to enjoy listening to them afterwards.

 

You're making two big mistakes in your thinking here. First, commercial research? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but there is no such thing, except keeping tabs on what's current now. But if you worry about sounding like what's current now (in whatever genre you work in) you'll never achieve a sense of individuality. You'll always be working under the sub-conscious guidance, benchmarks or templates of other artist's musical innovations.

 

Second, there's nothing wrong with artists (musical or otherwise) having huge egos. Performers, musical artists, they're not all meek little whimpy "nice guys" who suddenly transcend their meekness when they record or get up on stage. No, what's behind their artistry is ego. 100% pure ego. You need to embrace yours.

 

Third (of the two things I wanted to mention LOL) you said that your track isn't commercial. According to whom?!? Whose to say that that track wouldn't make for a great bit of background music for... a commercial! Or a music library looking for an EDM influenced track? Or whose to say that your music wouldn't garner the attention of a DJ who might take your track and use it to advance the evolution of a current genre?

 

And with the "my track isn't commercial" thing in mind, I'm going to leave you with this one question. It's important, so pay attention :lol:

 

When you hear "current" or "commercial" music on the radio, or in a dance club, or wherever, how do you think it gets there? Or, put another way, how do you think it becomes commercial? To answer this question you must think about the entire process. Think about the timeline. Think about the egos involved. The absolutely HUGE freekin' egos of artists, managers, promoters, other musicians involved, etc. And what does all that ego do? It delivers the musical message of the artist, one that ultimately transcends everything negative you're attributing to this notion of ego being a detestable, distasteful thing.

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So what you're saying is... the solution to my problem is to be a bitch to everyone? I like that idea!

 

No, it is the misunderstanding that ego always is supposed to be something "bad" - it most definitely is not. You can have an enormous ego and still be a nice person; like me: I have a very big heart, AND a big ego. I couldn't live without either of 'm. :wink:

8)

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ttoxique, Aphex Twin, Amon Tobin and Squarepusher all have successful careers in the music business. All of them have produced way weirder tracks than the one you posted (I liked that vocal droning btw), so I really wouldn't worry about that.

 

I think when you get back form vacation you should start your tinkering-on-the-piano approach again. Don't even let yourself think about levels or compression until you at least have a melody, some chords, and a rough idea of basic song structure. This is something I've learnt to seperate as much as I can; don't let the engineer get in the way of the composer, don't let that guy out of his cage until you've done the music, he can be a real inspiration killer. Let your sub bass go into the red once more, f**k it, you can deal with that later when you let the engineer out of his cage. Concentrate on one step at a time, don't sit down thinking "Right, now I'm going to write the biggest international hit since Coldplay's last single!" - it's not going to happen that way. Improvise, have fun, wait until ideas come out that you feel are worth developing. Make music you are passionate about, let other people decide if it's "commercial" or not.

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Ttoxique,

 

So what you're saying is... the solution to my problem is to be a bitch to everyone? I like that idea!

 

No, it is the misunderstanding that ego always is supposed to be something "bad" - it most definitely is not. You can have an enormous ego and still be a nice person; like me: I have a very big heart, AND a big ego. I couldn't live without either of 'm. :wink:

8)

 

Erik totally gets it.

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You can have an enormous ego and still be a nice person; like me: I have a very big heart, AND a big ego.

 

The foundation of the Buddha's teachings lies in compassion, and the reason for practicing the teachings is to wipe out the persistence of ego, the number-one enemy of compassion.” Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th Dalai Lama

 

 

Eriksimon to 4pointsgpa viewtopic.php?f=4&t=85253

I'm beginning to believe your ex-gf is very lucky (that you broke up with her). After all, who wants a relationship with a dumb person that makes dull music? :evil:
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Eriksimon to 4pointsgpa viewtopic.php?f=4&t=85253
I'm beginning to believe your ex-gf is very lucky (that you broke up with her). After all, who wants a relationship with a dumb person that makes dull music? :evil:

 

In this respect, Erik has lost his way.

 

Ego is a healthy thing to have and doesn't equate with being egocentric (which is an unhealthy manifestation of ego, not ego itself). Without ego we wouldn't have any output of artistic expression, hence we wouldn't have culture. It all comes down to individuals thinking that their (music, art, teachings) are good enough or worthy enough to be put out in the world, without fear, with the hope that these things will be appreciated and influence people in a good way. Etc. etc. etc.

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I think of it in simpler terms, almost statistical.

 

If I enjoy listening to the music I make, then chances are, due to genetic and cultural conditions, that there will be other people out there who will also enjoy listening to it.

 

I wouldn't think about influencing or inspiring people with my music, I feel that down that road lays egocentricity, I'm happy if someone listens to it and enjoys it on any level and with any interpretation. Once it's left my hands, it's in the ears of the observer.

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The thing with ego destruction is, many people who claim to have destroyed their ego have just expanded it until they can't see the edges.

 

And some might say, what's the difference? Without ego also means without self, without self means withouty identity, without selfconciousness. And I haven't even mentioned the fact that the wish to trascend the ego ALWAYS is the product of the ego... all one can really do, is forget about it...

 

To most, except maybe the very fortunate and the very, very few, ego-destruction à la buddhism is but a pipe dream. It is a bit like saying the pope takes the place of God on earth. This doctrine of "badmouthing" ones ego is the way to "fight" it - well, that's nonsense. Or, to quote the wise king: vanity, all is vanity.

Fortunately, being altruïstic and compassionate is also healthy for the ego. The thing is not to destroy the ego (that only leads to neurosis and, if you're lucky, psychosis), but to embrace it. How can you be compassionate to others if you hate your own ego? For all those others one is supposed to be compasionate with, surely have ego's too.

Edited by Eriksimon
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Posting my last reply I saw from the corner of my eye how Ski claimed I have "lost my way". I'd like to point out that the notion of "a way" is alien to me. It is just another puny human effort to control the world, so we imagine the concept of "a way", a "road ahead", or even several, wide, narrow, whatever. Truth is, there are no ways, it is all a construct, a concept.

"Now and then we wonder where the real world is." (parafrased from Joe Jacksons' Real Men).

I just can't stand how 4pointsdude wrote about his (ex)girlfriend. It was so godforsaken heartless that I've grown anti-fond of him. My ego just needed to vent that antifondness.

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I think of it in simpler terms, almost statistical.

 

If I enjoy listening to the music I make, then chances are, due to genetic and cultural conditions, that there will be other people out there who will also enjoy listening to it.

 

I wouldn't think about influencing or inspiring people with my music, I feel that down that road lays egocentricity, I'm happy if someone listens to it and enjoys it on any level and with any interpretation. Once it's left my hands, it's in the ears of the observer.

 

I guess I was trying to roll up a whole bunch of things into a short statement. So to be a little more specific, spiritual teachings, theistic or not, are certainly meant to influence people. Music, art, sculpture? Maybe not as much. (I don't think to influence people with my music, for example, but I do put it out there in the hopes that others will enjoy it as much as I do). The idea of using "music" and "doctrine" in the same sentence has every potential to create oxymorons, though that wasn't always the case (the various ancient Church modes, including the avoidance of tritones as being "the devil's interval" are all forms of musical doctrine). Architecture? Certainly meant to influence people in a very profound way. And so on.

 

But for someone to get up on stage and say, "look at me doing my thing", whether it's a folk singer or a violin virtuoso, takes daring, ergo, ego. Nothing wrong with that, because after all, people like to be entertained.

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The thing with ego destruction is, many people who claim to have destroyed their ego have just expanded it until they can't see the edges.

 

And some might say, what's the difference? Without ego also means without self, without self means withouty identity, without selfconciousness. And I haven't even mentioned the fact that the wish to trascend the ego ALWAYS is the product of the ego... all one can really do, is forget about it...

 

To most, except maybe the very fortunate and the very, very few, ego-destruction à la buddhism is but a pipe dream. It is a bit like saying the pope takes the place of God on earth. This doctrine of "badmouthing" ones ego is the way to "fight" it - well, that's nonsense. Or, to quote the wise king: vanity, all is vanity.

Fortunately, being altruïstic and compassionate is also healthy for the ego. The thing is not to destroy the ego (that only leads to neurosis and, if you're lucky, psychosis), but to embrace it. How can you be compassionate to others if you hate your own ego? For all those others one is supposed to be compasionate with, surely have ego's too.

 

I agree with you Erik. That's why I'm suspicious of people on an "ego destruction" trip. It almost always leads to a bloated and diseased self. Getting to know and live with your ego is, to my mind, a much healthier practice. My favoured techniue is holding many simultaneous beliefs and ethic sets, this keeps a certain relativism and perspective, as well as minimising unwanted attachments. I don't have a problem with attachment, as long as it's a choice and not a tether.

 

As for Buddhism and pipe dreams, well, it's about the journey and not the destination, right?

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But for someone to get up on stage and say, "look at me doing my thing", whether it's a folk singer or a violin virtuoso, takes daring, ergo, ego. Nothing wrong with that, because after all, people like to be entertained.

 

That's why I much prefer to have other people play my music live :wink:

 

I don't think it's a bad thing if someone is influenced by my music, I've been influenced by plenty of artists, but I would never expect it. I have an aversion to artists who tell their audience they are "missing the point", and only want their art interpreted in a certain way. I guess I'm postmodern like that.

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I have an aversion to artists who tell their audience they are "missing the point", and only want their art interpreted in a certain way. I guess I'm postmodern like that.

 

Postmodern? Nah, sounds pretty darn normal if you ask me! But "post modern" does have a nice ring to it... :)

 

Posting my last reply I saw from the corner of my eye how Ski claimed I have "lost my way". I'd like to point out that the notion of "a way" is alien to me. It is just another puny human effort to control the world, so we imagine the concept of "a way", a "road ahead", or even several, wide, narrow, whatever. Truth is, there are no ways, it is all a construct, a concept.

 

Not having a way is having a way, even if you think your ways need to be infinitely flexible or different from other people's. And BTW, I was just kidding when I wrote that you lost your way. Guess I should have added my trademark :mrgreen: to the end of that one. Whoops!

sinatra.jpg.c61a2e53b9596d9dde4eb83cc90438ba.jpg

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I have an aversion to artists who tell their audience they are "missing the point", and only want their art interpreted in a certain way. I guess I'm postmodern like that.

 

Postmodern? Nah, sounds pretty darn normal if you ask me! But "post modern" does have a nice ring to it... :)

 

Well, personal interpretation, relativism, lack of definitive meaning; they're all part of the whole postmodern thang. It didn't used to be that way, in the West at least, and your example of christian musical doctrine is a good illustration of that.

 

Wow, this thread is getting a bit deep for LPH, maybe it's time for the old guy spinning on his dick again: