Persian Minuet - Your feedback would be appreciated

[Shahram Omidvar]

 

Edited July 23, 2022 by Shahram Omidvar

[Atlas007]

The music is indeed reminiscent of the period and rather pleasing.

My suggestions:

• The menuet being a dance, its performance should be more rhythmically accentuated on the steps. The tempo also appears slightly too rapid for same.
• I would orchestrate more lightly and parse the different instruments in the stereo field and depth. Perhaps humanizing their performance could help enhancing the realism. Mixing the instruments in mono or narrow their individual presences could help giving air as well to the overall rendu.
• I hear dissonances at 0:14 and at 0:56. (?)

The piece is otherwise well crafted harmonically and presents an interesting development.

Edited July 23, 2022 by Atlas007

[Shahram Omidvar]

1 hour ago, Atlas007 said:

My suggestions:

Great comments @Atlas007. I do appreciate your attention to fine details; it’s invaluable. 

[FLH3]

I have roughly the same comments as Atlas.

Same heard dissonances (actualy they're in the same part as 0:56 is a repetition of 0:14, you'll just have to fix that one time)

Make it "jumpier" and "danceable" in its interpretation (sorry English is not my primary language and I lack vocabulary, especialy when I want to say fine and precise things). Actualy it sounds as this piece was written, well written, but not played.

A lighter orchestration, more like a little chamber ensemble, maybe using some time period instruments, piano forte or even harpcichord instead of a regular piano, viola de gamba (or a retuned/reEQed cello) instead of a regular factory cello.

Imagine 1 keyboard player (harpsi or pianoforte), 1 cellist or gambist, 1 flute player, 1 violonist or alto player in a medium size hall.

For the the woodwinds I would imagine them played staccato, at least some kind of short articulation, just to add rhythm to the dance and make them to fly around in the whole piece, like little birds.

A question: the tittle is "Persian Menuet" and I don't heard a reference to middle eastern music or to what middle-eastern music was imagined by the people of the XVIIIth century.

Edited July 23, 2022 by FLH3

[Shahram Omidvar]

1 hour ago, FLH3 said:

I have roughly the same comments as Atlas.

I do value your observations and valid comments @FLH3. Yes, I definitely agree that the mix of the instruments and optimisation of polyphonic layers could have been done differently and even better. Thank you for listening to the piece and making the time to comment.

[Shahram Omidvar]

2 hours ago, FLH3 said:

A question: the tittle is "Persian Menuet" and I don't heard a reference to middle eastern music or to what middle-eastern music was imagined by the people of the XVIIIth century.

Persian music (in its traditional and not westernised form) has been more fluid (with in depth melodies) and not as structured as the classical music. I an Australian Professional Engineer being of Persian origin who has played classical piano since childhood followed by classical and Flamenco guitar since my uni times as my beloved hobby. I tried the present composition to see how the Persian themes would fit with Baroque period polyphonic style. So, it is experimental more than anything. In other words I don't believe there is a specific knowledge of what you asked above, but you may be aware however that Persia has over 2500 years of civilisation.

[FLH3]

In understand.

I my comment "what middle-eastern music was imagined by the people of the XVIIIth century" I was refering to the work of Rameau in "Les Indes Galantes", "La Cérémonie des Turcs" (for Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme) by Lully or the "Türkische Marsch" by Mozart, for instance.

Nothing Turk, nothing Indian in these musics but it's how they thought it was right 😁

It was when people imagined far and mysterious countries,  Turky, India, Persia, everything mixed, and tried to compose music according to the fantasies of the period.

Even XIXth century composers made such things (Puccini's Madame Butterfly or even Bizet imagining Spanish/Gypsy music in Carmen as examples)

Like composing in harmonic minor when you want to evoke the Mysteries of Sheerazade or in pentatonic when you want to travel to an imaginary China or Japan with music.

Obviously a "Persian Menuet" composed by a XVIIIth composer will not be truly "Persian"

Edited July 23, 2022 by FLH3